Today I'm tired of real life. I want to escape. To go and hide somewhere away from all the stress and worry that I create. The last few days things have been...difficult, to say the least. Mostly with things that I can't/don't want to talk about with anyone, because it's just that kind of stuff. The things that we must deal with as part of this life. It's strange because as a missionary you just don't. You push everything like that to the side, telling yourself that you'll deal with it when the time comes. But what about when it comes? How do you deal with it then? You can't push it aside, there's no where to push. Sometimes I feel the little voice in my head saying, "Hermana, you're home" and well, to be honest, sometimes I don't really like it very much. I do realize that most of you will read this and in your head you'll say, "Get over it. The mission is over., You're home now." Well, I ask each of you to think, for just a second as that thought comes that it's kind of mean, and to be sympathetic, just for a bit longer. Sometimes I'd like to be a little kid again, you know the stage everyone goes through where if you close your eyes you're pretty sure that because you can't see anyone, no one can see you? That would be nice.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Mal in Real Life...
Today I'm tired of real life. I want to escape. To go and hide somewhere away from all the stress and worry that I create. The last few days things have been...difficult, to say the least. Mostly with things that I can't/don't want to talk about with anyone, because it's just that kind of stuff. The things that we must deal with as part of this life. It's strange because as a missionary you just don't. You push everything like that to the side, telling yourself that you'll deal with it when the time comes. But what about when it comes? How do you deal with it then? You can't push it aside, there's no where to push. Sometimes I feel the little voice in my head saying, "Hermana, you're home" and well, to be honest, sometimes I don't really like it very much. I do realize that most of you will read this and in your head you'll say, "Get over it. The mission is over., You're home now." Well, I ask each of you to think, for just a second as that thought comes that it's kind of mean, and to be sympathetic, just for a bit longer. Sometimes I'd like to be a little kid again, you know the stage everyone goes through where if you close your eyes you're pretty sure that because you can't see anyone, no one can see you? That would be nice.
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4 comments:
Mal, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I think it must be very difficult to come back to the real world after a mission. It's a hard adjustment. I haven't gone through it myself, but I know I will be witnessing it once my sister gets home from her mission. I wish I had some "make you feel all better" kind of wisdom, but alas I do not. Just hang in there and take your time adjusting. If you ever need someone to go to the temple with, I would more than love to go! Maybe doing things like that would make it a little eaiser to adjust. I'm here for you, let me know what I can do. And don't let anyone tell you to "get over it". You served a mission for goodness sake, what a life changing experience. Hold on to those memories you will forever cherish them. And remember the work is never done, you are still a missionary. =) Love you girl!
Mally! I'm sorry chica :( I know there's not much i can say to make things be fixed, but know that I love you and that I am keeping you in my prayers! You'll make it through this yucky time!
There are days when I'm paying bills, keeping dinner from burning, doing laundry, changing a messy diaper and wondering when my next shower will be, that I also want a break from real life. Let's go back to high school huh? Where our biggest problem was the best way to color our Student Council posters. What do you say?
I'm so there AJ, let's do it.
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