Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The group project from hell and other random ramblings from a brain-dead-almost-college graduate...

I've said it before and I'll say it again: group projects are a special kind of torture that can only have been contrived in the deepest and most unholy depths of Hell. You think that, as per usual, that I am exaggerating for dramatic effect? Oh on the contrary, my dear reader. There is not even the slightest hint of exaggeration in that statement. In fact, it might not be strong enough. I won't give you exact details, mostly because just thinking about them makes my blood pressure rise to an unhealthy level, but here's a brief overview:

-A crying 20 year old who didn't do her portion of the project and tried to make everyone feel sorry for her (*sob* "It's the week before finals! I'm so overwhelmed."*sob* My advice? Find your boot straps, pull 'em up and quit letting your lack of preparedness affect my grade.) 
-A fellow senior who shows up to class, at best, once a week
-3 football players who somehow have gotten the idea that we're friends, so I should help them with their project
-2 hours that were supposed to be spent on an upcoming stats project frantically wasted reluctantly recalculating the crying group member's bad math
-One temporarily lost notebook that had my entire semester's worth of work in it
-A mad dash to the Stadium to reprint said project as I was the only group member without another class that morning and easy access to a free printer
-One computer that decided not to open or print any Windows documents
-Yet another mad dash, this time to President's Circle
-One asthmatic running up a set of stairs in order to turn in a now late group project
What does all that equal, you may wonder? One insanely stressed out Mallorie who did her entire portion of the project days in advance, but still ended up with all the stress. 

Now, I'm pretty good at simple math (shout out to Sara the Theatre Fairy who helped me conquer my paralyzing fear of the subject. You're a magician), but that doesn't seem like a balanced equation to me. But maybe all of that insanity has clouded my superpowers and my better judgement. Anyway, I have returned even more firmly to the resolution that group projects are meant to torture good and prepared students. It's how professors manage to give out lower grades and make their classes seem more difficult. That, along with the dreaded comprehensive final, are currently the bane of my otherwise fantastical existence. But do you know what the cure for a horrifical day is? 4 pairs of new shoes (all purchased on sale, mind you) and dinner with one of your best friends. The best part is trying on shoes some place like Ross where all of the shoes are connected so you have to shuffle around. If that doesn't cure your bad day, then you, my friend, are not human.


Kaylea said...

haha i love the classic shoe shuffle.

Amber Sayer Walker said...

Ha ha! Mal, you kill me. I LOVE reading your blog. I concur with your ideas of group projects. I hated them too, because I'm a control freak and I couldn't stand it when things were outside of my control and I had to rely on slackers for my grade. I feel for ya, sistah.

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