Sunday, March 21, 2010

"This moment contains all moments." -C.S. Lewis

As has been firmly established, I crave movies or books much more often then I crave food (though at the moment, I'm seriously craving peanut M&Ms). But lately, I've been craving moments. I wish there was another word that I could use that would adequately describe the feeling, but crave is the best that I can come up with. It's almost like a hunger that I just can't seem to satisfy. 

Let me explain. 

I clearly remember what it was like to read Harry Potter for the first time. I felt as though I had been swept into a magical world where every detail was complete. I couldn't put the book down. I did all my chores one handed for an entire day. Ask my mom, it drove her nuts. Harry went with me everywhere and though I raced to the end, I was indescribably disappointed to put Harry back on the train to King's Cross and see him go home for the summer. But lucky for me, J.K. Rowling had another 6 books coming my way. When I finished the 7th book (in one night) I cried. It was like loosing an old friend. I knew that Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny had run their course and the I could pick up any of the seven volume series and relive their adventures whenever I liked, but there was something about living the adventure the very first time that can't be replicated, no matter how hard I try. The magical world is always there waiting for me in the dry paper pages, but it's not the same. I'm seeing the story with different eyes. 

Lately I've been craving moments. The first time I heard Vivaldi's Four Seasons. The first time I saw The Nutcracker. The feeling of my first triple pirouette. Driving my car, my very own car, for the first time. The day I came home from my mission. How I felt when I realized I was in love for the first time. Seeing my name as a published author for the very first time. Holding each of my siblings as babies.

 I know that life is full of first time experiences and I will always be adding to my list of moments that I'd relieve. But that doesn't stop me from every once and while craving those that have passed. 


Ashley said...

WOW, Mal, you hit the nail on the head! That was a beautiful post. I've never thought about it that way, but you're so right-there's nothing like living a moment the first time, the memory is not the same. You have so many wonderful "firsts" ahead of you and they will be all the more special because you are so introspective and in-tune with yourself!

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean. Moments are amazing and it's hard when nothing new is going on in life. But moments always come and go. I hope you have a moment soon. I hope I do too.

aubrie said...

Beautifully put. I am exactly the same way. Sometimes in the frenzy of life I have to stop myself and just breathe in deeply and try to remember everything about that moment because I know it's one I'll want to relive again and again in my mind. Life is full of moments, but it's a matter of recognizing and savoring them. (Who me? About to cry right now? Why would you think that?)

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