Monday, April 26, 2010

A Few Things I'll Never Understand...(The Catch-All Edition)

Why it's the high maintenance girls that always seem to have a boyfriend. I was talking with a friend last night and we decided that this is absolutely ludicrous. Trust me, buddy, when you're old it won't matter if she could walk in 4 inch heels. You will, however, appreciate a wife who is willing to watch football games with you. Just sayin'.

Twilight. Granted, I read it when I came home from my mission and subsequently went through my addiction phase, but that time has long passed. If I hear one more person compare Stephanie Myer to J.K. Rowling (or heaven forbid, Jane Austen) I'm going to throw up all over them.

The inability of some people to use Google.  On a regular basis, people call my office and ask me stupid questions. Typically, I can find an easy, simple answer for said questions by using the miracle of Google. If they would do the same thing, then they could save themselves a conversation with a sarcastic secretary.

Utah weather. Can it just be sunny, for heaven's sake? (Note: I said sunny. Not hot. I hate hot weather with a burning passion [ha ha ha...get it? Burning passion? I crack myself up.] I just want it to be sunny.)

People who refuse to look up big words. It's no secret that I absolutely adore big words. What I don't understand is when I use properly them in my daily life, why people refuse to look up their meaning and instead, insist on mocking me for their lack of vocabulary. Really, people? Have we returned to 4th grade? Or maybe you never left. How unfortunate.

My complete and utter obsession with Facebook. It's really not that exciting or entertaining, yet I am constantly playing around on it. 

Why I absolutely abhor certain words. Romantic (gag), ointment (puke) and couple (shudder) being some of them. My old roommate and dear friend Chels hates the words us and cuddle. I used to chase her around the apartment yelling them. I kinda miss doing that.

The way in which completely nonsensical things make me nervous. Like being set up on a date (actually I have an answer for that one and if you beg hard enough, I'll tell you the stories), or failing all of my classes. I'm a reasonably intelligent person, there is no way that I will completely fail all of my classes; yet it is one of the things that concerns me. I'm crazy, it's alright. I'm already aware of it.


Kim said...

Down with Twilight! Down with Twilight! Oh, Mal, you make me laugh!

Amy said...

The words "ointment" and "moisture" are possible the most hideous in the English language.

Also have you tried "let me google that for you"? Favorite thing EVER (of course that's because I'm a brat)....check it out. You googling it. (Does "googleing" have an e or not?)

Whitney and Lish Harris said...

I think you and I make a great couple, in the romantic sense. We can rub ointment all over each other all day and night! Yeah, we're that kind of couple!

Chelsie said...

I miss the chasing too.

Emzwee said...

I totally agree on Twilight! And about everything else you wrote about. Moisture is one of my least favorite words and I'm curious if you mind the phrase "can I have a couple radishes," if its that version or two people dating or just the word in general

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