"It's okay. You'll make a really good step mom to someone's kids." (Said to me by a roommate who was trying to comfort me when I had my heart totally crushed a while back.)
"So, Mallorie, when are you going to get pregnant?" (No. I'm not kidding. This gem comes from my sister-in-law's baby shower.)
"So how come you're not married yet?" (Every single girl on the planet has been asked this question at least once. And every time it happens, I want to backhand the person because it's none of their dang business!!)
"In my day, only ugly girls who couldn't get married went on missions." (This from the mouth of my mission president. I do not jest. Said in the middle of Zone Conference no less.)
"Wow. Your legs are really really white." (Isn't my boss such a sweet person? It was even better when I told her to get used to it, they'd be this color all summer. Not for lack of trying, just lack of my skin's ability to be anything but glaringly white.)
"So how's married life?" (Said to me by a member of our home ward one day a couple months after I came home from my mission. Imagine the awkwardness which ensued when I had to explain that I was not or ever had been married.)
Those are just the few that I can think of right now. I'm sure that this list will inevitably grow the longer that I'm a) single, b) a girl and c) white as a ghost. If you're looking for an even better laugh, check this out. It makes me giggle every time.