Thursday, May 6, 2010


...people say absolutely appallingly awkward things to me. It's true. Every time it happens, I file it away just in case I'm ever in need of an excellent anecdote or I'm out of ideas as to what to post on my blog. So, my dear readers, here are a few of them:

"It's okay. You'll make a really good step mom to someone's kids." (Said to me by a roommate who was trying to comfort me when I had my heart totally crushed a while back.)

"So, Mallorie, when are you going to get pregnant?" (No. I'm not kidding. This gem comes from my sister-in-law's baby shower.)

"So how come you're not married yet?" (Every single girl on the planet has been asked this question at least once. And every time it happens, I want to backhand the person because it's none of their dang business!!)

"In my day, only ugly girls who couldn't get married went on missions." (This from the mouth of my mission president. I do not jest. Said in the middle of Zone Conference no less.)

"Wow. Your legs are really really white." (Isn't my boss such a sweet person? It was even better when I told her to get used to it, they'd be this color all summer. Not for lack of trying, just lack of my skin's ability to be anything but glaringly white.)

"So how's married life?" (Said to me by a member of our home ward one day a couple months after I came home from my mission. Imagine the awkwardness which ensued when I had to explain that I was not or ever had been married.)

Those are just the few that I can think of right now. I'm sure that this list will inevitably grow the longer that I'm a) single, b) a girl and c) white as a ghost. If you're looking for an even better laugh, check this out. It makes me giggle every time.


Ash Att said...

i feel like we have been asked all the same questions. the "why arent you married" makes me so mad everytime. i just want to say. I dont know, if i knew the answer i would be married right now right? or just something snappy like that haha

Amy said...

In your mission president's defense (everybody else is just bad....) he probably meant "and now that's clearly not true because our presence is graced with one Sister Mal who is clearly non-ugly."

People are stupid. But they stay stupid whether you're married or not. :)

Cathie said...

When people would ask me why I wasn't married, I'd cheerfully say, "Just lucky, I guess!" That shut 'em up.

And the next time someone asks when you're going to get pregnant, smile and say, "Who says I'm not already?"

I am disappointed that you have no "So, when's your baby due?" I get that every few months. I should probably stop wearing that dress.

Amy said...

A kiosk worker approached me and said, "I used to have a problem with acne, too." while trying to sell me some skin cleaner. Needless to say, she did not make a sale.

Kim said...

Those can't be real! Who are you hanging out with! I'm sorry people are so weird. I guess stupid people are everywhere. A co-worker heard me sneeze, looked at me all seriously and said, "You're pregnant, aren't you?" Umm... nope I was 18 and not even dating anyone. Who says that?

e said...

ha ha. oh mal. the why aren't you married question kills me everytime. please reference my blog post where I talked about that exact thing.

you are amazing. men suck. please insert any non-derogatory consoling comment here. But at least if all else fails...there's chocolate.

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