Monday, March 14, 2011

Do you ever...

have those days where you feel like you just kind of suck at life? Where nothing you do is exactly right and you're always missing the mark? That's me today. No, honestly. Everything just feels off. I got in trouble at work (which NEVER happens) for not being nice to a couple of customers last week when I was dying of the plague and should have been home in bed. Usually I'd just let this roll off, but my boss was really condescending about it and just made me feel like an idiot, as though I have no clue how to do my job and that just made me feel even worse. 99.9% of the time, I'm perfectly nice to every customer who walks up to my desk, stupid questions or not. I know that I usually talk about how much I love my job, but right now I'm sick to death of it. I think that part of it has to do with the fact that last week, I realized that I'm so very not cut out to be someone's secretary. I want to do something real with my life, something that makes a difference in someone else's life. I watch all of my amazing friends do incredible and fulfilling things with their days like raise money for non-profit organizations and teach kids with special needs, and what do I do? 
Answer phone calls about sporting events and play on Facebook.
(And I know that I tutor and that my boys love me. This frustration has nothing to do with my tutoring job.)
And apparently I can't even get that right. 
Can I please just express to you all how frustrating it is not to feel like you're contributing to society on a regular basis?
It sucks.
Anyway, I'm so sorry for my gloomy mood. 
Blame it on the weather.
I promise to be back to my bright and sunny self again tomorrow. 

4 comments:

Jessica and Reecey said...

Oh honey, BELIEVE me, you do not suck at life. But I completely understand feeling that way -- especially on gloomy days.

For what it's worth, I think you are rockin'.

Alysha and Jason Whiting said...

I've felt very similar things as of late but let me tell you Mal that you do not deserve to feel that way-- you are always brightening other people's lives by your glowing personality. Seriously, I can't help but smile when I think of you! (In a good way, not a laugh at you way.) :) You are such an amazing person and such an example to me! I think you do more to contribute to society than you realize. But, if you want to know something that helps me feel better is volunteering. If you feel like it you should look up some volunteering opportunities on the United Way website. I love you!

Baby Sister said...

:( I hope you have a better day tomorrow!! You're amazing!!

Anonymous said...

If you want to be happy, BE.
This Ruined Puzzle and Because Weddings are a perfect place to forget you're single.
Also I really enjoy I'm going for broke, but i've got hope, however its a bit long and person and might not be what you are looking for to submit. But those are my thoughts! Good Luck!!! TVB!
~Alissa

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