Sunday, December 4, 2011
Everything I Need to Know about Life I Learned from Buddy the Elf...
What? You really think that Buddy does't have some great life lessons to share? Here is where I prove you wrong, my dear friends. WRONG. Because, really, everything you need to know about life, you can learn from Buddy the Elf.
*It's always appropriate to ask someone's favorite color when answering the phone.
*The yellow ones don't stop.
*When walking across a busy street at a crosswalk, one should step on the white lines only. The black spaces are poison.
*Passion fruit spray, while sounding like it might, does not, in fact, taste good.
*Taking off your tights in the kitchen is never a good idea.
*To get to New York City from the North Pole, one must pass through the Seven Levels of the Candy Cane Forest, then the Sea of Swirly Twirly Gumdrops and eventually come out through the Lincoln Tunnel.
*Santa does not smell like beef and cheese.
*Syrup is a wonderful addition to any meal as well as being a great gift for that hard to buy for someone.
*The four main food groups are: candy, candy canes, candy corn and syrup.
*Having an elf on your side during a snowball fight is always a good idea.
*Really ginormous toilets are cause for great excitement.
*When in doubt, add more paper snowflakes.
*All serious lists and messages are written on an Etch-a-Sketch.
*Also, Light Brights are an essential part of true Christmas decoration.
*Good pick-up lines include:
-"Deb, you have such a pretty face you should be on a Christmas card."
- "I think you're really beautiful and I feel really warm when I'm around you and my tongue swells up."
*Asking to pick snowberries when one is in the middle of an existential crisis will only get you a "Not now Artic Puffin!"
*Francisco is fun to say.
*Whispering is fun and smiling should always be your favorite.
*Always end the day with a snuggle or a tickle fight.
*Only 8 cookies fit in the VCR.
*South Pole elves are mean.
*Fingers can have heart beats.
And last but not least (now say it with me):
*The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.