Top 10 Reasons Why I'm Captain Grouchy Pants Today...

10. My feet haven't been properly warm since Christmas. This could be because I live in an apartment with zero insulation.

9. The medical professionals have yet to find a way for me to have an IV of Diet Coke (and not have it kill me like the crazy nurse did with the patient in Brazil).

8. I don't want to like the new companion on Doctor Who but I do. I also don't want to like the new credits sequence or the new and improved inside of the TARDIS.

7. People who correct you just so they can sound superior (especially when they do it in front of your boss).

6. Procrastinators. I'm so sorry, but no, since you haven't even begun an application to our program, we can't admit you for a semester that begins on MONDAY.

5. My desk has become a dumping ground for files that advisers have yet to pick up for the coming semester. My desk is not big enough for this to go on much longer.

4. The creepy homeless guy who was practically living in my office over the weekend drank all of my remaining pomegranate 7-Up which is only sold at Christmas. And since it's no longer Christmas, I can't find any.

3. It's no longer Christmas.

2. Yoplait stopped making my favorite kind of yogurt.

And the number one reason that I'm Captain Grouchy Pants today....

1. Because I am an adult and as an adult, I don't get to stay in bed when it's negative eleventy billion degrees outside and drink hot cocoa and bond with the doctors of Grey's Anatomy or go on adventures with Amy, Rory and the Doctor or play office Olympics with Jim and Pam.

Now. Who do I speak to about quitting adulthood?

By way of an update....

I am currently ignoring a huge pile of laundry. Clean laundry, mind you. I love clean laundry. It's sitting in a massive pile next to me on my recently vacuumed floor while I half pay attention to the first season of Castle (which I'm watching for the millionth time) while I casually eat Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia FroYo. And yes, I am picking out the chocolate fudge flakes. What is that look for? If you know me at all, you know that I always pick the chocolate chunks out of any ice cream (fine fine fine, froyo) that I eat. Where am I going with this? To be perfectly honest, no where. As I sit in my mostly clean bedroom, surrounded by lovely clean clothes, I have come to the realization that I'm pretty darn content with my life. When it comes down to it, who am I to complain? Sure, I could give you a long list of the things that aren't great in my life (please reference the opening lines of "Holding Out for a Hero" and take a gander at these pictures for two things that are pretty darn close to the top of the list). But why, may I ask, should I waste time being unhappy about things I have no control over? Remember the Roald Dahl book "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"? Sidebar: Before you say anything, yes, I am totally pulling this from this talk, but whether you're Mormon or not, the concept completely applies to you, so don't stop reading. Remember how Willy Wonka, the crazy, slightly unhinged candy maker, hides five golden tickets in some of his candy bars and then announces to the world that whomever finds these special tickets wins not only a private tour of his factory, but a lifetime supply of chocolate? Written on each ticket is an identical message: "Greetings to you, the lucky finder of this Golden Ticket! Tremendous things are in store for you! Many wonderful surprises will delight, astonish and perplex you." In the book, (in the off chance that you haven't read it [shame on you] or seen either of the movies) people all over the world become obsessed with finding the Golden Tickets, buying up all the Wonka chocolate they can find, placing their future happiness on a game of chance. When the ticket is not to be found in their particular candy bar, the joy of the treat (and trust me, there is definitely joy in chocolate) is completely lost. The candy bar itself becomes a complete disappointment without the addition of the Golden Ticket. I think that so often we get fixated on our own "golden tickets" and forget the simple joy of the chocolate. Well, at least I do. There are so many things that I want to accomplish in my life. So many plans and goals. More often than I would like to admit, I get bogged down in how far out of my control some of my plans are that I forget to enjoy the "chocolate"; my friends, my job, my family, the incredible opportunities that I'm given on a regular basis. What, my dear readers, is the point of all this particular ramble? Simple: every now and then stop and enjoy the chocolate. You'll never be sorry that you did.

Capri Suns, boom boxes, Boy Meets World, Yikes! erasers....

I'm a 90s kid. I read the Babysitter's Club (and tried to start my own version, don't you little worry). I idolized Punky Brewster. I wore white platform tennis shoes with my over-sized overalls. I was in love with Cory Matthews. I know every word to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song. I desperately wanted a Trapper Keeper to hold my Lisa Frank folders. I drank Capri Suns like they were going out of style, the Wild Cherry was, is and always will be the best flavor. I learned that there were 9 planets in our solar system. I realize that I'm dating myself here, but what's a girl to do? Yesterday my mom brought a bunch of boxes up to my house which contained all of my childhood memories (elementary school to high school). It was Mallorie in a Box... okay, well like 4 boxes. My living room looked like an episode of Hoarders for a good three hours as I sorted through my life thus far. And if you know me, you know that I need a soundtrack to just about everything. Lucky for me, I have some help coming up with this one. There's this website called Turntable that allows you to play DJ with all your friends. And my co-worker decided that today was 90s day. How fitting! So without further ado....

Mallorie's Totally Awesome Ridiculously Cool and Completely Rockin' 90s Playlist:
Surgeon Generals' Warning: Extreme flashbacks, desires to act like an angst ridden teenager and permanent fixation of said songs in your head may accompany reading of/listening to this playlist. These emotional and mental conditions are not permanent or detrimental to your health. You have been fairly warned.

I Saw the Sign-Ace of Base
Waterfalls--TLC
Sunday Morning--No Doubt
Truly, Madly, Deeply--Savage Garden
Semi-Charmed Life--Third Eye Blind
She--Green Day
Bad Habit (edited)--The Offspring
Smells Like Teen Spirit--Nirvana
Loser--Beck
Never There--Cake
Black Hole Sun-- Soundgarden
Buddy Holly--Weezer
If You Could Only See--Tonic
3 AM--Matchbox 20
One Headlight--The Wallflowers
Mr. Jones-- Counting Crows
Losing My Religion --REM
Tonight-- Smashing Pumpkins
Torn--Natalie Imbruglia
Breathless--The Corrs
Bittersweet Symphony--The Verve
Zombies--The Cranberries
With or Without You--U2
Blind-- Hootie and the Blowfish

Join me in the '90s, my friends. Pluto misses you.