Tuesday, April 6, 2010

A Stripped Down, Exceedingly Basic Guide to Mal Mecham...

So. If you didn't know, I'm a slightly complicated person. Yup, it's true. And my darling, wonderful, fabulous friend Aubrie did something like this a while back and I thought it was brilliant and I decided that the world could benefit from a little more instruction about the marvelous Mal Mecham. Here it is. Your very own, personal, stripped down, exceedingly basic guide to Mal Mecham. 

1) I'm a TV addict. I currently have about 8 shows that I watch religiously as well as reading every freakin' spoiler that I can get my hands on. I'm not so intrigued by the storyline as I am attached to the characters, which is why spoilers don't bug me. It's not about being surprised as much as it is about following their 'lives'. TV is also my ultimate stress relief. 

2) At just about any point and time during the day I can eat one of two things: 1) Chocolate chip cookies and 2) butter cream frosting. I know they make you fat. I know they're loaded with sugar. I know they're bad for you, but I absolutely love them anyway.

3) Just so you know, I'm the luckiest person alive. I have incredible friends and family. I know you think that you are the luckiest, but really, I win. If you knew them, then you'd agree. And I will defend them with everything that I have, so don't cross me. 

4) I'm sassy almost to the point of being mean sometimes. This often comes out when people say really really obvious things like "Hey, is it raining?" as I come inside completely drenched. I tend to pull a Paris Gellar and say things like "No, it's national baptism day. Tie your tubes, idiot." I know it's mean, but some days I just can't help it. 

5) There are two things in this world that I am more proud of than anything else: my name tag from serving my LDS mission and the fact that last year my paper on the Vietnam War was published in the school's history journal. 

6) I love spring and fall. I'm not into extremes. Not too hot, not too cold. Seriously. I'm the Goldilocks of seasons. 

7) Country music in every single form makes me want to pull my ears off my head. I used to love it, but now it just sounds like nails on a chalkboard. I feel the exact same way about Celine Dione. She's a nice person and all, but her music makes me want to punch a baby.

8) It has taken me a very long time to like the person that I am and I'm a little sensitive about being copied. I've been told lots of times that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and about 90% of the time I'm totally okay with that. 

9) I love clothes almost more then life its self, and I can be a big time clothes snob. Very much like Natalie Hill (one of my favorite bloggers), I have Louboutin taste on a Payless budget. I have a closet full of Jimmy Choo substitutes. 

10) More often then not, I'd rather read about dead people then talk to alive ones. Sad, but true. One of my history professors last year told me that my first book should be called "I Talk to Dead People".  It's not that I don't know incredibly wonderful people, I do. It's just that...well...I'm a history major and it comes with the territory. 


Whitney and Lish Harris said...

Oh Goldilocks, I love that you said Celine makes you want to punch a baby. I laughed so hard! I miss you and love you and all your complicated messes.

Amy said...

If I told you all the things that made me laugh out loud or snort in this post it would pretty much mean copying and pasting the whole thing.
"tie your tubes" "punch a baby" "Goldilocks of seasons" "talking to dead people" wow. You're awesome.

You were published? That's because you rock. You should be very VERY proud of that. Way to go.

Ashley said...

"She's a nice person and all, but her music makes me want to punch a baby." Best line ever.

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