You know how...

during finals week you have those insane dreams about sleeping in and missing your final? Or the fact that you're on your way to take a math exam and you forgot your calculator? You rush around in a blind panic because you can't miss your exam and usually wake yourself up because you're thrashing in your blankets?

Sometimes it's not a dream.

Like this morning.

It went something like this:

I decided to let myself sleep in a little because I have a whole TWO hours between school and work, giving me ample time to come home and beautify myself for the day. I got up around 9:10, brushed my teeth and decided to check my email to see if I had any emails from my favorite missionaries. I'm reading through Sestra Staheli's email when I look down at the clock on my computer and realize that my exam is in exactly 16 minutes. I throw a sweatshirt on over my pajamas and race out of my house with my purse. As I'm driving like a maniac down 9th  East, going through the equations for compounding interest and stocks and bonds, I realize that I didn't grab my calculator. Panic had officially set in. At this point I actually pinched myself to be sure that I wasn't having some sort of insanely detailed and realistic dream. I then made a VERY dangerous U turn and booked it back to my house, ran down the stairs, grabbed my calculator and set off once again for the U. As was my luck this morning, I'm stuck behind a bus (I loathe public transportation) and the slowest driver known to man until I hit 4th South. I don't think I've ever taken that corner so quickly in my entire tenure at school. The time? 9:39. I had exactly 60 seconds to drive up the hill, turn on left on 1850 East, turn right on South Campus Drive, turn left on Mario Capecchi Drive, turn left on to North Campus Drive, go through the roundabout, come out on Central Campus Drive, drive to the closest visitor parking lot to OSH, run into room 202, snag a test and sit down in my seat on the front row. Even at super speed, that's fairly close to impossible. I've never wanted the ability to Apparate more in my entire life. I settled for driving like I was from southern California while trying my hardest not to swear. I made it into the room at 9:50. I'm beyond proud to say that I finished the entire exam in exactly 30 minutes, knew that answer to every single problem and didn't cry once.

It's more than I can say for my first exam in my 1010 class.

Now don't get all bent out of shape...

Ugh. Can I please express the utter displeasure that I experienced this morning when I was unceremoniously yanked from my bed at the disgusting hour of 7 am to find 4 inches of snow outside my window?
(I'm allowed to complain about the weather, I'm from Utah.) I'm completely over this whole snow thing. Don't send bad vibes my way, Amanda. It can snow in Pleasant Grove all it wants so long as it rains in Salt Lake, okay? Here's the list of reasons why snow and I should only have contact on a very limited basis:

-I'm short, so my pants drag on the ground unless I wear heels which isn't a good idea because...

-I'm clumsy. Case in point, this morning I slipped on ice and planted myself on the front lawn. I was wet for hours.

-I throughly loath driving in the white stuff. It's slippery and icy and scary.

-I don't think that I look  so great in hats, so I rarely wear them which means that the snow ruins my hair.

-I absolutely hate when my feet are cold. No matter what kind of shoes I wear, my feet are always cold when it snows.

-Frozen mascara? So hard to put on.

-While the clothes are darling, I hate being hot under my jacket while my extremities are freezing.

I have a feeling that a move to warmer climates is definitely in order.

Dear Construction,

You're really driving me crazy, if you must know. You made me 20 minutes late for my first class yesterday. You make the roads all clogged and busy. You are ruining my life. So, if you could just, well, I hate to be rude, but if you could just GO AWAY, I'd really appreciate it. Gee thanks.

Love, Mal

P.S. You're tacky and I hate you.

A few things I'll never understand Part 2....

Twitter. Why do I care what the heck a celebrity is doing? And why would they think we'd care?

Professors who don't check their email. Then why in heaven's name do you give us your email address?

People who don't like The Office. Are you serious? Really? Really?

How I think that I like all the songs on my iTunes, but when I listen to it on shuffle I skip every other song.

Really personal Facebook statuses. Like "I just broke up with my boyfriend and my life is over." Why would you want the whole world to know that?

When someone texts you and asks how you are, but when you respond they never write back. Don't waste my texts if you don't really care...

One word texts. Just don't write back!! 'K' is not worthy of the effort it takes to send. At least give me a sentence.

Professors that are bound and determined to give you a C. If you don't like teaching, DON'T DO IT.

Why every time there's an accident everyone and their dog has to slow down to look at it. Karlie and I have a finite system for this one. One of us drives, the other looks at what happened. Just another reason to carpool.

Talking loudly on the phone while other people are watching a movie or TV. Let me clue you in. THIS. IS RUDE. End of conversation.

More to come, I'm sure. :)

Why I shouldn't listen to NPR on my way to school...

There are mulitiple reasons, the first of which being, I always hear about things that I want to listen to that are being broadcast while I'm in class. It tempts me to just sit in my car, in the institute parking lot and listen to the radio instead of going to class. Second, I get distracted while I'm driving. I become so very focused on what the British corespondent in Iran is saying that I forget to drive. And that my friends, is a problem. But dispite these two very convincing reasons, I probably continue to leave my radio dialed to NPR every morning on my way to school.