Menace to Society...

So. Last night I went home to good old PG for dinner because, during the school year, I don't really see my family all that often. I mean, sure, they only live forty-five minutes away, but I work on afternoon/evenings on Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Friday is insert current nerd obsession here night with Megan and during the fall Saturday = football. Because of church stuff my Monday nights are also gone. Anyway, you get the picture. Since I got off work a little early last night due to a massive headache (apparently I looked like I was on drugs...at least according to my student) I decided to pop a couple of Excedrine and drive myself on down there. While eating dinner with my family the subject of my glaringly single status came up. I, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the topic, made some joke about being past all hope of getting married. I mean, come on. I'm 25 (Please note the HEAVY sarcasm) and I managed to live in Provo for 3 years without becoming eternally attached to anyone. That, my dears, is a feat of sideshow proportions. Lucky for me, I made a couple of jokes at my own expense and then the subject was dropped. I didn't really think too much about it again until I read a blog this morning where a newly married girl of 22 began to whine about how she was turning 23 soon and what is a 23 year old to do?! Apparently, according to her, when you're 23 you're supposed to have babies.
Lots of them.
I began to laugh to myself.
 At 23, I was: 
managing an apartment complex, taking 14 credits at school, going dancing with my roommates on the weekend, helping Chels plan her wedding, buying clothes all too often and staying up all night watching movies.
Please do not read this as a bitter diatribe of a single girl who, in Mormon culture, has reached the level of spinster. It's not. Trust me. I could give you one, but I'm not bitter so it would mostly be about stupid people and the dumb things they say to me. (My new favorite, said by a girl in my ward is perpetually unhappy about life: "Have you ever even BEEN in a relationship?" Is there something odious about me that would send of vibes that I've never been in a relationship? Honestly!)
The more I thought about that particular blog post, the happier I became with my current life situation. Don't get me wrong, if Captain Kirk were to come along and sweep into the Enterprise to fly off in the glow of a supernova (silly, they don't have sunsets in space),
you wouldn't hear a word of complaint from this girl. 
But as that has not happened, I simply refuse to waste my time.
I'm not going to pretend that I don't have crappy days where I listen to sappy music and cry a little wondering what's wrong with me. I do (though I don't really care for crying. It tends to give me a headache), but it's a lamesauce waste of my precious, valuable and freaking awesome time to freak like that on a regular basis.
So behold, a list of things that I will accomplish in my life:

-Eat a bagel on the lower east side of New York City
-Stand at the top of the Eiffel Tower
-Read Pride and Prejudice while walking through the English countryside
-See a Broadway show
-Graduate from college
-Take the GRE
-Get a master's degree
-Make a quilt all by my lonesome without having to bother my mother to help me
-Get another paper published
-Milk a cow
-Ride in a hot air balloon
-Swim in the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Hawaii
That's all I'm willing to share currently, lest you steal all of my ideas and do them before I can. 

"What a blessing it is to love books as I love them, to be able to converse with the dead, and to live amidst the unreal!" 

--Thomas Babington Macaulay

Serendipity...

 No. I don't mean the Kate Beckinsale movie. Okay fine. I'll explain it better:

-noun: an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident. 

Good fortune; luck.  

Sunday, I had one of those serendipitous days where all sorts of things just seemed to come together. It wasn't one thing in particular, but a series of excellent conversations, lovely moments and little realizations that made me understand something incredibly important.
But first there's a few things you need to understand:

1) I'm a busy person.
 I have this...disorder, I guess you could call it. I have an insane desire to fill every single ounce of my day with stuff to do and taking a chill pill usually isn't on the list. Lately, things have been slightly more hectic because...
b) I live with and take care of my 80 year old grandmother. 
She's fantastic, wonderful and amazing, but it can be a lot of work sometimes. Especially because she doesn't drive and has been having memory problems.
 It's a go with the flow kind of thing, but I'm not really a go with the flow kind of girl. 
3) Most weeks, I end up working 7 days.
 I do this because I adore mentoring. My aunt teased me because I once said that it was my guilty pleasure. She says that the nerdiest thing she's ever heard, which can't be true because her husband plays World of Warcraft.
Anyway, I could totally get by money wise without it, but that's not why I even work with the students that I do. 
d) My ward (congregation where I attend church), while pretty awesome, is tiny. And is mostly girls. Which means no dates.
Okay, so now that you know all of that, let me tell you about my Sunday. Lately, I've been feeling kind of stuck. And completely ineffective. Which makes me crabby. There's nothing in this world that I hate more then feeling out of control. Call me a controlist if you must. It's true. But Sunday, as I sat and waited for my grandma to be ready for church I was reading this fantastic book by an amazing woman. In one letter, written during the twilight years of World War II to her husband who was living in another state, working for a railroad company, she says, 
"Guess your more essential in my life than I would have guessed. I just done seem to be able to get along without you." 
I, of course, don't have a husband to say that to, but I started thinking of all the people that I just don't seem to be able to do without. It's a LONG list. Here are a few people that I thought of:


My madre,
who that very morning, while we were on the phone made me laugh so hard I cried.
My daddy, 
who has endless quantities of advice, welcome or unwelcome and is always willing to put aside important things to help me.
KMJ, 
who goes to dinner with me just about every Saturday night and even though shopping isn't her thing, is willing to do some retail therapy with me because she knows I love it. 
Sara, the theatre fairy,
who not only keeps me in theatre tickets, but will spend hours searching for good pictures to add to my hot boys screen saver.
Lisa,
who I swear has a sixth sense because whenever I'm having a bad day she shows up and makes it all better.
My tutoring/mentoring students,
who fight over who gets to study with me and tell each other that I'm "hella cool" when they don't think I can hear them.
Megan, the DVD pusher,
who is always up for a Slurpee and never mocks my insane TV obsession.
Beth, my boss at the tutoring center, 
because she always makes me feel like I'm doing my job well and reminds me why I was chosen to participate in a program that is reserved for grad students only.
Lindsay, the darling and fantastic girl who cuts my hair 
because we always have the best time chatting and laughing. She never makes me feel unwelcome when I stop in to visit her at work.




Basically, the list could go on and on. Throughout the rest of the day I was reminded, in very subtle but unmistakable ways, that I am in the right place. I am exactly where I need to be, doing the things that I need to do so I can become the best version of myself. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how truly serendipitous my life is. 

Currently Reading...

Can I please just tell you how much I love this book? This cute girl recommended it to me. (Since when do the kids that I used to babysit get to recommend books to me? They will forever be small, small children playing dress up in my mind.) Anne Fadiman (besides spelling her first name the right way) has a fresh writing style; (and this is cheesy, don't even judge) but when I read this book I feel like I'm sitting on a squeaky porch swing on a cool, cloudy day. It's pure delight and confection. I HIGHLY suggest you get your own copy because I'm not sharing. Loves!!

Don't Rain on my Parade...

I love rain. 

It's no secret.

In my own humble opinion there are very 

few things in this mortal life 

that can compare with the absolute beauty of a summer rain storm 

The feeling of the wind as it gently tosses your hair 

and lightly dances across your skin

I simply can't get enough of the warm, sweet smell of the 

slightly damp pavement mixed 

with the delicate scent of honeysuckle and lilac

There's something uniquely special about having 

rolling thunder as a soundtrack 

and 

lightning for a night light.

Don't Rain on My Parade is my new theme song. I listen to it at least once a day. I'm sure the people who see my driving on my way home from work think that I'm completely nuts and I'm completely good with that.