A few things I'll never understand...

It's been a while since "a few things I'll never understand" has made an appearance on my blog. After reading People.com today, I decided that it's time for a revival. Without further ado:

A few things I'll never understand:

*LADY GAGA. I'm pretty sure that wearing meat as a dress isn't a fashion statement, it's a health hazard. And completely disgusting. Also, it's not the 60s. Wear a bra. (Amanda love, don't be mad at me.)

*BEING FAMOUS FOR BEING FAMOUS. The Kardashians? Paris Hilton? They don't do anything to contribute to society. I mean fine, I'm sure they keep boosting the economy through spending exorbitant amounts of money, but aside from the mass amount of aerosol that is contributing to the deterioration of the ozone layer, they do nothing.*

*THE RANDOM ADDITION OF THE LETTER Z TO PHRASES: I mean pleaz. Doez thiz make senze to anyone elze?

*HOW I GOT THE PLAGUE IN JUNE. Seriously, tonsils? Are you kidding me?

*WHY I GET SUCH INSANE PLEASURE OUT OF SHREDDING PAPER AT WORK. Does this mean that I have anger issues? Should I be seeing a therapist about this? I'm a little concerned.

*ALL OF THE GAMES ON FACEBOOK. I don't care about your fish, your farm or your avatar.

*I might have made this up. Science? Not really my thing. I don't want anyone to correct my erroneous suppositions.

To Continue My Reality TV Rant..

So, I'm stuck at work tonight because there's a wedding (which I volunteered to work because I knew it would be gorgeous because this creative girl is the bride, and trust me, it lived up to my expectations. She's incredible!) and I've been watching reruns of The Bachelorette (because that's what I do when I'm working on Saturday nights). As I'm watching 25 guys fall all over themselves to date Ali, I am completely flummoxed at some of the things these guys say to Ali and to the camera. How can they know after 2 hours that they're in love with her? And what possess them to say things like "I think that I have the best personality in the house" and "(Insert name here) is definitely here for the wrong reasons. You can just tell" or my personal favorite, after 10 minutes of talking to her, "This is the girl that I want to marry". ARE YOU SERIOUS?! 

On what planet is that okay? 

It's like that moment in Twilight when Bella finds out that Edward has been watching her sleep. In the normal world, (like the one I happen to inhabit) a girl would find that absolutely creepy; but in the book? Bella falls all over him because it's supposed to be adorable. What is this world coming to? Maybe this is why I'm still single: I don't want a stalker who watches me sleep from the corner of my room or that says horribly creepy things to me within minutes of making my acquaintance. 

If that's the case? 

Bring on the single life.


(Also, I don't think it's fair that Ali got a private performance by Jamie Cullum. She probably didn't even know who he was before that episode. Such a waste!)

Some People Should Have Their Own Reality TV Shows...

Have you ever met someone who has drama going on 100% of the time? You know exactly the kind of people that I'm talking about. You say, "Oh hi." And they say,
"OMG!
Things are just so hard right now. My boyfriend/husband cheated on me/cut off all my credit cards and after it was all over and I was out with the girls trying not to think about it, this chick totally slapped me for nothing at a bar. I mean, I was wasted, but I'm totally positive that I didn't do anything! I have no idea why the manager of the bar kicked me out after I scratched her eye balls out. I mean, I retracted my claws and everything. It might have been because I puked all over the floor or something. And I'm sure you heard that I lost my job. I mean, I was going to quit anyway so it doesn't matter all that much. The people who worked there were total idiots. Don't they understand that I just can't be kept to a schedule?  I'm not built to work full time. And the dress code! Tube tops and 7 inch heels are totally acceptable work attire anywhere else."
People like this will spend 99.9% of the time that they are talking to you talking about themselves and will often forget major details of your life (such as your last name or where you go to school) because they don't have time or the energy to remember details of anyone's life which is less dramatic than theirs. I've decided that people like this should have their own reality show... You shove all of them in a room together and watch them all fight for attention. That way, the rest of the world can live drama free, because let's be completely honest, NO ONE REALLY CARES.

I just realized that  show like this already exists and it's called The Hills.

Because that's what you do to crazy people to keep them calm...

I have a tendency to be a tad...emotional. You didn't know that? Wow. We must not be really good friends. Anyone who knows me at all knows this fact. It can either be considered a glaring personality flaw or an endearing quality, take your pick. Tonight I had one of my...less then endearing moments. Directly after an emotional outburst over something I'm embarrassed to admit upset me, I may or may not have (read: most definitely) cried a little during the finale of the Bachelor. In my weak defense, it was out of sheer frustration and absolute dislike for Vienna or as my favorite reviewer calls her "V-trash". And then ten seconds later, I was over-the-moon-ecstatic about two things: number one being the fact that Evan Lysacek is going to be on Dancing with the Stars (and at some point will most like remove his shirt, which I fully support) and number two being that Ali is going to be the Bachelorette. Do you see why I called myself crazy in the very thinly veiled Gilmore Girls reference used as my title? 

My Thoughts on Aaron Carter and his Dancing with the Stars Career...

So. My darling roommate Karlie has this obsession with reality TV and this obsession has been passed on to me. I ADORE mocking people and reality TV gives me the express ability to do so on a regular basis from the comfort of my own bed, without directly offending anyone. Anyway, in my new found love, I've discovered Dancing with the Stars and it basically makes my life a better place. Watching people, who for the most part, have no dancing ability whatsoever wear sequined costumes and attempt to do the jive? Yes please! It's a mock fest of epic proportions. This brings me to the title of my post. Aaron Carter, the much younger and less attractive brother of Nick Carter of Backstreet Boys fame, has been shakin' his thing of my favorite Monday night reality show this season. This boy (and I can him a boy for a reason) takes his part in this competition WAY too seriously. I mean, the poor child looks like he's about ready to cry when the judges insult him. I have a feeling that this is a direct result of the fact that he's a washed up-living-in-the-shadow-of-his-older-brother-hasn't-produced-a-song-since-I-was-in-junior-high-performer. I also think that he sees himself as having a lasting career in ballroom dancing, since his music career hit the skids before it even started. Honestly, he's not that bad of a dancer, but I'm quite positive that his self worth and basically, his life will be over if he looses this competition. I can't wait to watch him cry when he gets kicked off. (Now you must imagine me with an evil grin...)