Mea culpa...

Don't hate me. I know. It's been almost three weeks since I posted on my beloved blog. I know. I stink as a blogger. I'm REALLY sorry. Don't believe me? Well fine then. But it's true. Things in my neck of the woods have been busy lately. In a good way. You want to know what I've been up to? You sure? Alright. Here's my list:

What I, Mallorie Anne Mecham, have been doing instead of writing on my beloved blog:

*WORKING
*Going to Next to Normal at PTC (Um, it rocked my world).
*Getting an iPhone (his name is Captain Awesome)
*Hanging out at the Guild Store at Hale Centre Theatre
*Chillin' with  my madre and my sisters
*Planning this chicky's bridal shower
*Hanging out with Very Special Agent Anthony DiNizzo and the crew of NCIS(how have I not been watching this show for years?!)
*Reading these books (SO good)
*Watching replays from the BYU/Utah game (A Utah man, sir! A Utah man am I! [Good heavens,  my school song is so sexist!])
*Messing around on Instagram. (You should probably follow me. Because I'm a double dose of awesome.)
*Going to the symphony
*Drinking Pumpkin Smash Jamba Juices (Fall is back, my friends)
*Thinking about how I really need to write on my blog more often
*Pinteresting more than I should (I now need to be independently wealthy to afford all of the stuff that I am drooling over)
*Thinking that I should probably change up my blog design, but I have no idea how or what I want to do. (Hint hint...I'm open for suggestions)
*Reminding myself to love my neighbors (Freaking dog barking at 1 am....freaking power saw at 730 am on a Saturday. Who do these people think they are?!)
*Cleaning


And I'm now tapped out. But as you can see, I'm leading a very exciting life. :) I swear I'll try and do better...maybe. But only if you promise to comment on this very post and tell me how much you missed my sparkling wit and charming blog personality...

Okay so... (day 22)

I'm obviously not married and am not going to be anytime soon but, like any silly, single girl, I have most of what I want my wedding to look like planned out. Without further ado:

The Dress:

The bouquet:

The brides' maids' dresses:

The groom's men:

Other flowers:

The cake:

So it's the wrong colors. Don't judge. Replace the brown with black and the blue with green. And take the flowers off the top. 

Now all I need is the groom....

A few reflections on single life in P-town...

As a disclaimer this post is not meant as an outlet for whining. As a rule, I don't whine. It's obnoxious and I get sick of myself very quickly when I do. This post is a compilation of my observations as quite possibly the only one of my close friends who does not have a significant other. Every spring it seems as though the magnetic forces of mating season suddenly leap into action, particularly in Utah Country. For the past month I have not received a single scrap of mail that was not a wedding announcement or bridal shower invitation. My refrigerator is covered in pictures of people that I know looking lovingly into each others eyes, surrounded by swirly writing. It's great don't get me wrong. I love that they're all in love. Really I do. I love walking through the mall and seeing the jewelry counters mobbed by eager looking girls and love sick guys. I adore strolling through the park and seeing the many couples (bleh, I can't believe that I just used that word...) cuddled up on blankets, whispering sweet nothings in each others ears. I look forward to attending each and everyone of my friend's wedding receptions (that part really is true. I love wedding receptions), but what I find particularly interesting is that when you are not attached to someone else you suddenly become invisible. Some couples are better about this than others, as in they refrain from whispering intimately to each other and sneaking little kisses (AS YOU SIT RIGHT NEXT TO THEM) there by completely forgetting that anyone else is in the room. Really people? Isn't that what the back seat of the car is for? I mean come on. We know that you're in love, and not one is begrudging you that. Congrats, your gold stars are on the way. But if you really want to be alone LEAVE YOUR FRIEND'S APARTMENT AND GO FOR A WALK. That's why walks were invented. To save your poor single friends from killing you. It is for your safety and well being to get up off the couch and go for a walk. Especially if you have taken over a friend's couch for your cuddle session. Okay rant over.

My New Job

With weddings come many job opportunities, and well, I've decided to take one of them. I believe that this job will be of use in my chosen profession and that I will be an excellent candidate. Here's the job description. Let me know what you think.
Job Description for BFOTB (aka the best friend of the bride):
*Proof engagement pictures.As a professional wedding announcement critic, I, the BFOTB, must be sure that there are not any: cheesy picture montages, kissing photos, bad printing, awkward poses, ugly outfits, animals, extra limbs, and every other potentially strange item that would qualify them for the Awkward Engagement Photos group on Facebook.
*Cake reconstruction, in case of collapse.
*Portable tissue box
*Relaxation therapist
*Self Esteem counselor
*Dress consultant (for the bride and for herself as well as other bridesmaids)
*Bouquet holder
*Party planner
*Sensor of shower gifts that could possibly be wildly inappropriate (coughShelisacough)
*Left over wedding cake eater
*Stand up comedian
*Dear John Writer
Just so all of you out there know, this position has been filled, by ME, for further questions, comments, concerns or jokes, refer to Gilmore Girls, season six, episode entitled The Perfect Dress. This is very silly way of saying congrats to Chels and Jordan who got engaged this past week.

(As a side note and disclaimer: Chels does not really require me to do all these things, but she and Jord did help me make the list because well, let's be honest, it's more fun that way.)