Sometimes...

... I wish I was a ginger.

... I spend all day in leggings and one of my little brother's sweatshirts. And I love it.

... I car dance SO well that I distract the car next to me and they forget to drive. I'm always proud of myself for that.

... when I'm grouchy, I watch One Direction videos on YouTube and I remember that there's no point being grouchy in a world where Louis Tomlison and his ridiculous jokes are just one click away.

... I love Lee Pace even though he was in the new Twilight movie.

... I still get the plague even though I had my tonsils yanked.

... my internet goes all wonky and even spending an hour on the phone with Corey Shaw doesn't fix it.

... international students say the absolute best stuff in their emails, such as "I wish I could be the lucky dog." I always laugh.

... even though I love my job, I wish I had one that I could wear comfy clothes to instead of fancy pants clothes all the time.

... I get unreasonably excited when I find other Doctor Who fans who will talk about my love for David Tennant with me. As in I jump up and down and clap my hands. I always judge myself just a little for this.

... I realize that I'm going to miss my DVR when I move.

... I wish that I was British.

... I worry entirely too  much.

... popcorn and frozen Junior Mints fix everything.

... watching Pretty Little Liars makes me want to scream yet I can't turn it off.

... I read the same book over and over even though I know exactly what is going to happen.

Wherein I prove that I'm really a 15 year old girl on the inside...

You know how they say that some people's growth is  permanently stunted around a particular age or event? I'm fairly certain that mine is 15. At least where boy bands are concerned. You see, I grew up during the N*Sync and Backstreet Boys craze of the late 90's/early 2000. I was never big 'boy band' kind of girl. I danced so I was well acquainted with their tunes, but I never owned a CD. I never taped one of their songs off the radio (someone please tell me they remember doing this... nope? I'm the only one? Then you're all lying in order to appear younger). I firmly believe this is why my boy band phase has hit (and hit hard) in my late twenties. And it is late twenties. I don't care what any of you say. Are you closer to 30 than 23? Do most of your friends have small people running around their homes? Do most of your friends OWN homes? Then you're in your late twenties. Welcome.

Anyway, what is playing on repeat on  my iPod, computer, CD player in the car and iPad for the last two months?

And it's not just because they're British...though that helps.

In two weeks alone I listened to one of the songs (coughWhatMakesYouBeautifulcough) over 50 times. My hipster side is judging so hard right now that I almost can't hear anything else...except for Liam, Harry, Zayn, Niall and Louis sweetly singing about 10 other songs in my head at all times. Saddest part? I've listened to it enough times that I could go through any given song and tell you who is singing at what time. I know all of the words to all of their songs and happily sing along. I even YouTubed them. And they're hilarious. I kinda want to be best friends with them...Louis in particular. Anyone who decides that a fake, stuffed bird is named Kevin and that he talks should be my friend. 

I'm now going to join a support group while I'm wildly judged on the interwebs for this. No one will ever wonder why I'm single again. I just gave definitive proof. 

I'll see you after detox.

Admit it...

We all have guilty pleasures. Whether it's an occasional (or not so occasional) episode of The Bachelorette or a deep friend Snickers bar at the state fair once a year, you've got one. Most people don't publish theirs all over the internet because that's embarrassing and silly. I'll tell you right here and now: I happen to have multiple. And I happen to write about some of them on this here blog. So mine aren't such a secret, now are they? Anyway, I happen to be quite the music snob. You didn't know this? Yeah, we must not be very good friends. Pretty much everyone knows that I'm a music snob. I don't listen to the radio because I get sick of the same songs played ad nauseum. I love finding random obscure bands that not everyone has heard of. I was slightly disappointed when they started playing Adele on the radio because then everyone and their dog was obsessed and they'd never even heard her first album all the way through. See? I told you. I'm a music snob. But this music snob has a confession: I have a slight weakness for cheesy pop music. Wince. I know. So, dear readers, here you have my own personal guilty pleasures playlist for your enjoyment. I don't want to hear any mocking. I would welcome more suggestions though...

Your Love is My Drug-- Ke$ha
Baby-- Justin  Beiber
I Want It That Way-- Backstreet Boys
Burnin' Up--  Jonas Brothers
Seniorita-- Justin Timberlake
No Air-- Chris Brown/Jordin Sparks
Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)-- Beyonce
Like Wow!-- Leslie Carter
SOS--Rihanna
SuperGirl-- Krystal
Moment Like This-- Kelly Clarkson
Hot N Cold-- Katy Perry
Pretty Girl Rock-- Keri Hilson
It's Gonna Be Me-- NSYNC
One Less Lonely Girl-- Justin Beiber
Poster Girl-- Backstreet Boys
Shake It-- MetroStation
Kiss & Tell-- Selena Gomez and The Scene
See You Again-- Miley Cyrus
Spice Up Your Life-- Spice Girls
Disturbia-- Rihanna
Marry You-- Bruno Mars
Leavin'-- Jesse McCartney
Tik Tolk-- Ke$ha
California Gurls-- Katy Perry
In My Head-- Jason Derulo

Capri Suns, boom boxes, Boy Meets World, Yikes! erasers....

I'm a 90s kid. I read the Babysitter's Club (and tried to start my own version, don't you little worry). I idolized Punky Brewster. I wore white platform tennis shoes with my over-sized overalls. I was in love with Cory Matthews. I know every word to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song. I desperately wanted a Trapper Keeper to hold my Lisa Frank folders. I drank Capri Suns like they were going out of style, the Wild Cherry was, is and always will be the best flavor. I learned that there were 9 planets in our solar system. I realize that I'm dating myself here, but what's a girl to do? Yesterday my mom brought a bunch of boxes up to my house which contained all of my childhood memories (elementary school to high school). It was Mallorie in a Box... okay, well like 4 boxes. My living room looked like an episode of Hoarders for a good three hours as I sorted through my life thus far. And if you know me, you know that I need a soundtrack to just about everything. Lucky for me, I have some help coming up with this one. There's this website called Turntable that allows you to play DJ with all your friends. And my co-worker decided that today was 90s day. How fitting! So without further ado....

Mallorie's Totally Awesome Ridiculously Cool and Completely Rockin' 90s Playlist:
Surgeon Generals' Warning: Extreme flashbacks, desires to act like an angst ridden teenager and permanent fixation of said songs in your head may accompany reading of/listening to this playlist. These emotional and mental conditions are not permanent or detrimental to your health. You have been fairly warned.

I Saw the Sign-Ace of Base
Waterfalls--TLC
Sunday Morning--No Doubt
Truly, Madly, Deeply--Savage Garden
Semi-Charmed Life--Third Eye Blind
She--Green Day
Bad Habit (edited)--The Offspring
Smells Like Teen Spirit--Nirvana
Loser--Beck
Never There--Cake
Black Hole Sun-- Soundgarden
Buddy Holly--Weezer
If You Could Only See--Tonic
3 AM--Matchbox 20
One Headlight--The Wallflowers
Mr. Jones-- Counting Crows
Losing My Religion --REM
Tonight-- Smashing Pumpkins
Torn--Natalie Imbruglia
Breathless--The Corrs
Bittersweet Symphony--The Verve
Zombies--The Cranberries
With or Without You--U2
Blind-- Hootie and the Blowfish

Join me in the '90s, my friends. Pluto misses you.

To Continue My Reality TV Rant..

So, I'm stuck at work tonight because there's a wedding (which I volunteered to work because I knew it would be gorgeous because this creative girl is the bride, and trust me, it lived up to my expectations. She's incredible!) and I've been watching reruns of The Bachelorette (because that's what I do when I'm working on Saturday nights). As I'm watching 25 guys fall all over themselves to date Ali, I am completely flummoxed at some of the things these guys say to Ali and to the camera. How can they know after 2 hours that they're in love with her? And what possess them to say things like "I think that I have the best personality in the house" and "(Insert name here) is definitely here for the wrong reasons. You can just tell" or my personal favorite, after 10 minutes of talking to her, "This is the girl that I want to marry". ARE YOU SERIOUS?! 

On what planet is that okay? 

It's like that moment in Twilight when Bella finds out that Edward has been watching her sleep. In the normal world, (like the one I happen to inhabit) a girl would find that absolutely creepy; but in the book? Bella falls all over him because it's supposed to be adorable. What is this world coming to? Maybe this is why I'm still single: I don't want a stalker who watches me sleep from the corner of my room or that says horribly creepy things to me within minutes of making my acquaintance. 

If that's the case? 

Bring on the single life.


(Also, I don't think it's fair that Ali got a private performance by Jamie Cullum. She probably didn't even know who he was before that episode. Such a waste!)

Guilty Pleasures Discovered During the Past Decade...

So we all have guilty pleasures... so honestly no one can judge mine. That's why they're called guilty pleasures. Now that we have established that, here we go. (If you're going to judge, stop reading now, because I don't want to hear it).

Music: I hate country music, so you all know there's no way that'll be on my list. I'm strictly an alternative girl, but I do have to say that I secretly love R&B/one hit wonder pop music. Stuff like Jay-Z, Jesse McCartney, winceMileyCyruswince, etc...

TV: I adore trashy TV shows. The O.C., any kind of reality TV, One Tree Hill, Glee...

Movies: All of those lovely, cheesy, teeny-bopper movies. I actually own Another Cinderella Story. (Just as a point of contrast though, I do own seasons of 24 and all of the Bourne Trilogy; I like to think that I'm well rounded).

Books: I'm a history major, for all of you who haven't read my little blurb on the side bar, and so I read a whole lot of dry, slightly boring books. But I'm a closet Ender's Game fan. I've read it about 8 times.

Blogs: I read Mormon Bachelor Pad on a regular basis. I know they're total schumcks, but you have to admit, they're freaking hilarious. AND I just can't get over the fact that they live in Salt Lake, so I'm always curious if I actually know them or something.

Food: I adore coffee flavored ice cream and jelly beans. (Don't you little worry, I checked out all of the ingredients to be sure there's no real coffee in the actual products... so no WoW breaking going on here).

Clothes: Sweatshirts, sweatshirts, sweatshirts. If I could wear one every single day, I would. When I came home from my mission, I didn't wear anything without a hood for 2 whole weeks. And I have to add argyle to my list. Karlie keeps telling me that she's going to send me to a support group for it. Tights, socks, sweaters; you name it, I own it.

So friends, fill me in one what YOUR guilty pleasures are... Happy 2010!