You know how...

during finals week you have those insane dreams about sleeping in and missing your final? Or the fact that you're on your way to take a math exam and you forgot your calculator? You rush around in a blind panic because you can't miss your exam and usually wake yourself up because you're thrashing in your blankets?

Sometimes it's not a dream.

Like this morning.

It went something like this:

I decided to let myself sleep in a little because I have a whole TWO hours between school and work, giving me ample time to come home and beautify myself for the day. I got up around 9:10, brushed my teeth and decided to check my email to see if I had any emails from my favorite missionaries. I'm reading through Sestra Staheli's email when I look down at the clock on my computer and realize that my exam is in exactly 16 minutes. I throw a sweatshirt on over my pajamas and race out of my house with my purse. As I'm driving like a maniac down 9th  East, going through the equations for compounding interest and stocks and bonds, I realize that I didn't grab my calculator. Panic had officially set in. At this point I actually pinched myself to be sure that I wasn't having some sort of insanely detailed and realistic dream. I then made a VERY dangerous U turn and booked it back to my house, ran down the stairs, grabbed my calculator and set off once again for the U. As was my luck this morning, I'm stuck behind a bus (I loathe public transportation) and the slowest driver known to man until I hit 4th South. I don't think I've ever taken that corner so quickly in my entire tenure at school. The time? 9:39. I had exactly 60 seconds to drive up the hill, turn on left on 1850 East, turn right on South Campus Drive, turn left on Mario Capecchi Drive, turn left on to North Campus Drive, go through the roundabout, come out on Central Campus Drive, drive to the closest visitor parking lot to OSH, run into room 202, snag a test and sit down in my seat on the front row. Even at super speed, that's fairly close to impossible. I've never wanted the ability to Apparate more in my entire life. I settled for driving like I was from southern California while trying my hardest not to swear. I made it into the room at 9:50. I'm beyond proud to say that I finished the entire exam in exactly 30 minutes, knew that answer to every single problem and didn't cry once.

It's more than I can say for my first exam in my 1010 class.

I've got this problem with crying...

Once I start, 

I can't stop.

And what makes it so awful is

that if I cry and longer 

than five minutes

(which of course I always do)

my eyes swell up like a boxer's

for at least twenty-four hours.

I've tried ice packs.

I've tried the cold cucumber cure.

I've even tried raw steak.

But nothing works. 

Ever.

So when I've been crying, 

I pray for sunshine

because if it's cloudy out

everyone keeps asking my 

why I'm wearing my sunglasses, 

and I get so embarrassed

that I start to cry.

and once I start, 

I can't stop.

What My Mother Doesn't Know pg. 32

Now don't go around thinking that I put this up here because I'm depressed or crying my darling blue eyes out every day. I'm doing no such thing on any kind of regular basis, because when I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story. (Sidebar: I've thought from time to time that maybe I should cry a little more often. I've been told that when I cry my eyes turn a really pretty shade of blue green. Something to consider. Could help solve my lack of boyfriend issue.) I did have One of Those Days today, though. Those days where all you need is a really good, hard cry to make yourself feel better. Blame it on that extra X chromosome or something, but there are just days where crying is the only thing can release all of the...the...ness for lack of a better term...that builds up inside. It's akin to a pressure cooker. Crying is one of the best release valves around. It's right up there with driving really really fast and throwing soft things at people who bug you on the release scale.There are just some days where nothing particularly terrible has happened, but you just need a good old fashioned sob session to feel like yourself again. My only trouble with this is that, much like Sophie in above poetic masterpiece, my eyes swell up like a boxer's. Good thing I don't really care what other people think of me, right?

The Day of the Presidents' Birth...

Can I please just share with all of you that I adore Monday holidays more than other types of holidays? I love that I get to sleep in. I love that I don't have class. Mostly, it just all around rocks. Today was particularly fantastic because I got to see my darling Alissa. We decided to have an Italy in Salt Lake day. We went here:

And I had this:

Alissa had this:

Oh and I'll give you a picture of Alissa because she's darling:

Sorry, it's a little dark, but isn't she cute?

Here's a little more fun:

Um, just so you know, that focaccia bread changed my life. 

Then there was some of this:

"Snow suit up!"

 "It's gonna be ledgend-wait for it and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!!"

"Dang it, Past Ted!"

"Tell me that I'm your best friend!"

"'Booger!' 'Yes, hello Barney.'"

"It tasted like freedom. No, it tasted like pennies."

Are you jealous? Be jealous. I am awesome. I was also lucky enough to get a little time with this chicky:

We mocked people's blogs. We talked about how she was going to come see me when I get my tonsils yanked. Mostly, I love her and seeing her made my day even more fantastical.

Dear Presidents, 

  I really appreciate you being born. I'm sure grateful for the day off work and the extra time to become addicted to TV shows that are hilarious and amazing and see my incredible friends. 

Love and rockets, 

 Mals

Did you know...

Did you know that it is physically impossible for me to walk down a set of stairs? I bounce. Which is why I've twisted both of my ankles so many times that the muscles are like rubber bands.

Did you know that in one week I went to the ballet, the theatre and the symphony? It's true and I loved every single second of each one. Huzzah for the arts!

Did you know that The Sleeping Beauty was the last full ballet that I danced in? I was the jester since I was a much better character dancer than anything else. The hat that I wore as part of my costume came all the way from Russia. The company director saw it in the airport and told me that it practically screamed my name. Too bad I didn't get to keep it. I would have worn it all over the place. It kinda  looked like this: 

 

I jingled when I walked. It was fab.

Did you know that this is quite possibly the single most incredible show that I've seen in my life? It almost beats Macbeth. It's tragic that it only ran on Broadway from September 2008 until November 2008. 

Did you know the February 19th is the anniversary of the beginning of the Battle of Iwo Jima? It lasted from 19 February until 26 March 1945. It was kind of a big deal, you might have heard of it or something.

Did you know  that it is possible to talk entirely in lines for plays and movies? It is. Ask Sara. We do it regularly. 

Did you know that Stephanie J. Block played Elphaba in the national tour of Wicked? I saw her perform tonight at Abravanel Hall and I can now die a happy girl. She was spectacular.

Did you know that I'm one of only 8 people who's never seen Wicked on stage? Julia Murney informed me of that tonight.

Did you know that President Monson goes to the symphony? I definitely saw him there tonight. He's adorable.

Did you know that in 7th grade we sang My Heart Will Go On in choir and a bunch of the girls burst into tears? I wouldn't kid about something as ridiculous as that. I still can't hear that song without wanting to pull a Vincent Van Gogh. Naturally it would only be the one ear, I need the other hear to hear the music from Tale of Two Cities over and over again.

Did you know that John Kander and Fred Ebb wrote "Ring Them Bells" as a stand alone song for Liza Minnelli?

Did you know that "Don't Rain on My Parade" is my theme song?

Did you know that I collect headbands? And things that are polka dot? And argyle? And shoes? Oh my!

Did you know that I have the plague again? That's probably why this post is so stinking random. Pray March 17th gets here quick and they take these offending tonsils out of me so I can keep my voice for longer than a few weeks at a time?

Now don't get all bent out of shape...

Ugh. Can I please express the utter displeasure that I experienced this morning when I was unceremoniously yanked from my bed at the disgusting hour of 7 am to find 4 inches of snow outside my window?
(I'm allowed to complain about the weather, I'm from Utah.) I'm completely over this whole snow thing. Don't send bad vibes my way, Amanda. It can snow in Pleasant Grove all it wants so long as it rains in Salt Lake, okay? Here's the list of reasons why snow and I should only have contact on a very limited basis:

-I'm short, so my pants drag on the ground unless I wear heels which isn't a good idea because...

-I'm clumsy. Case in point, this morning I slipped on ice and planted myself on the front lawn. I was wet for hours.

-I throughly loath driving in the white stuff. It's slippery and icy and scary.

-I don't think that I look  so great in hats, so I rarely wear them which means that the snow ruins my hair.

-I absolutely hate when my feet are cold. No matter what kind of shoes I wear, my feet are always cold when it snows.

-Frozen mascara? So hard to put on.

-While the clothes are darling, I hate being hot under my jacket while my extremities are freezing.

I have a feeling that a move to warmer climates is definitely in order.

The first post of my recently dehijacked blog...

So. This day showed up on the calendar pretty recently:

Don't use the term Single Awareness Day on my blog, please. It makes me want to gag. Here's my philosophy: Valentine's Day is just another day that overly schmoopy people use as an excuse to show an excessive amount of PDA while those around them do their best not to throw up in their mouths. I have made the decision that it's ridiculous to feel depressed on Valentine's Day. If I'm going to be unhappy about not having a boyfriend then I can do that on any other day of the calendar year. I mean, when it comes down to it, it's just as effective to be depressed on April 30th as it is on February 14th. I came to the conclusion that I was going to use Valentine's Day as an excuse to purchase these:

Can I just say huzzah for the student discount with Ballet West? Half off tickets? Yes, please!

Sara the Theare Fairy and I also indulged in a little of this:

Heaven in the form of pasta and flat bread from Noodles and Company. Between the Pesto Cavatappi and the next delight there was some lovely shopping at Old Navy. That was followed very closely by this:

This last picture almost didn't make it on this blog. You see, just after I snapped it the grouchy guard (ie usher) came, very curtly tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, miss. You are not allowed to take photos in the theatre." I almost expected her to demand my camera so she could delete the picture. I was mortified. I mean, I'm sure that the flash taking photos of the curtain could cause mass panic and all, but I was on the mezzanine. Like anyone could even see the flash. Please, Grouchy Pants McGee.

Here is where I dissolve into a mess of ohhhs and ahhhs and technical ballet terms that half the people who read this blog won't really care about or even understand. Suffice it to say, it was bliss. After getting off on the wrong floor in the parking garage, being stuck in traffic and not being able to drive properly, there was some of this:

Right? Don't be jealous of how awesome my life is. I can't even believe it sometimes. Until I can find a guy who's willing to feed me pasta, let me go shopping at Old Navy, sit next to me while I melt over The Sleeping Beauty and then feed me Molten Chocolate Cake, I'll stay single.

El fin, the end... (day 30)

(Um, hi. It's me. Don't forget to vote in my poll, right -----> there. Kthanksbye!)

I made the picture small so as not to frighten little children or my readers. This is from Sunday night, not today, but I didn't have time to take a picture today. Don't judge. 

Now that I've driven you all away with my scariness, I'll tell you three good things that have happened to me in the past. 

1) My freaking awesome jobs. Yes, that's right. I get paid to watch football in the fall and then I get paid to talk about something that I LOVE with students that I love. Can't get better than that.

b) Discovering Jane Austen. My life is richer for it. Truly.

thirdly) My brilliant discovery of my love for pointy toed heels. Love it.

Before I die... (day 29)

I want to learn to do this!

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one." --John Lennon (day 28)

First and foremost, will all of you PLEASE vote in my poll? Yes that poll. The one in the right hand corner. 

 My future is in your hands, my dearest, darlingest, lovely blog readers. If I end up becoming a waste of space I'm going to blame it on your lack of participation. Do you want a girl's future resting on your head like that? The answer is no. You don't. So. Do the votings, okay? Please and thank you.

Alright, on to today's post. (Can I please tell you that as much as I've loved reading everything that you, my darling friends, have written in connection with this game, I'm going to be excited to have my blog unhijacked when it's all over? There. I got it off my chest.)

Whenever anyone talks about hopes and dreams, I always think of this line in the 2008 miniseries of Sense and Sensibility when Marianne asks Elinor what she and Lucy Steele were talking about in the garden so long. This is the part where the evil and plotting Lucy tells Elinor of her secret engagement to Edward, remember? Okay good. Anyway, Elinor answers back that Lucy was telling her all of her hopes and dreams for the future, so it leaves kind of a bad taste in my mouth because I hate Lucy Steele. So in lieu of hopes and dreams, here are the list of things that I plan on accomplishing in the next 365 days:

-Graduate from college (it's okay, you can shout "Finally!" I am.)

-Get a real, grown up job (See this goal, Teach for America? Can you please make it happen? Kthanksbye!)

-Go blonde (again)

-Go on a road trip somewhere awesome

-See the Shakespeare Festival...Midsummer Night's Dream, anyone?

-Attend Tale of Two Cities at the Hale Centre Theatre more times than I saw Born Yesterday....which was more than I am willing to admit in any type of public forum.

-Find some awesome black boots.

-Reread the Book of Mormon

-See the last Harry Potter..sniff

-Speak more Spanish because I miss it terribly

-Learn to make pupusas again

-Eventually ween myself off of Facebook...quit your laughing. I can do it, just you watch.

-See a Broadway show

-Take Yoda on some rockin' adventures

-Go to London

How's that for 'hopes and dreams?'

Someone I couldn't live without... (day 27)

Hands down, he's the cutest kid ever. 

In my own little corner...

...in my own little chair... (name the musical!). Anyway, I've already posted pictures of my room here. I've added this treasure since I took those pictures...

Don't be jealous of my awesomeness. It's a natural talent.

My worst habit... (day 25)

Not only do I bite my finger nails, but I pick at my nail polish incessantly when it chips. 

Recipe.. (day 24)

This is quite possibly one of my very favorite things that my mom makes when I go home. It's a pumpkin sheet cake with cream cheese frosting and it's to die for. Honestly. I don't use that phrase lightly. Get ready to eat your weight in pumpkin cake.

2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 cups sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cloves
1tsp nutmeg
1 cup oil
4 eggs
15 oz pumpkin


Bake in greased large cookie sheet, Bake at 350 for @ 30 or 40 min. until golden brown  Frost with Cream Cheese Frosting.


I accept all sorts of things as thank you gifts. 

I have never been good at... (day 23)

the favorites game. Not that I don't have favorites. I do. I just have lots of them. It's the same way with today's post. There hasn't only been one thing impacting my life lately. I'm the luckiest person on the planet and I have all sorts of good things influencing my little self right now. Here are a few:

(HA! I found a picture of Sara that she posed for! This is the Theatre Fairy! She's elusive about the whole picture thing, which why there hasn't been any picture of her until now.)

Okay so... (day 22)

I'm obviously not married and am not going to be anytime soon but, like any silly, single girl, I have most of what I want my wedding to look like planned out. Without further ado:

The Dress:

The bouquet:

The brides' maids' dresses:

The groom's men:

Other flowers:

The cake:

So it's the wrong colors. Don't judge. Replace the brown with black and the blue with green. And take the flowers off the top. 

Now all I need is the groom....

Does this count as a hobby? (day 21)

Does going to see every single show at Hale Centre Theatre multiple times count as a hobby? 

I happen to have the most awesome Theatre Fairy ever.

Be jealous.

Talented... (day 20)

I've never been one of those people with an excess of talent to spread around like mad, unless you count my sparkling wit and horrible spelling as talents, but there is one thing that I'm quite good at (she says with a modest blush) and that's this:

I love making cards, especially cards with my quotes from some of my favorite books and movies. 

If you like, let me know. My services are for hire. 

Oh the places I'll go... (day 19)

A better questions would be where don't I want to go?